Tuesday 12 January 2010
And there it was, my name in print, "These people have helped me in one way or another, some still do so thank you...." I felt very honoured to be amongst a select number of names on the acknowledgements page of Mr Writer's debut novel. My work colleagues didn't seem so interested in seeing my name in print today but then they're probably fed up hearing about it. It meant a lot to me though, it made me feel like a really good friend and a not too bad ex girlfriend either!

I suspect, in fact I could pretty much guarantee, that Mr Offshore wouldn't think the same about me. When I received the proof copy of Mr Writer's book I kept it hidden. I had mentioned to Mr Offshore that it would be arriving and that I hoped he wouldn't let it bother him. "As long as you don't keep it right by your bed". Hmm, don't the majority of us read in bed? So there it stayed, hidden in the bookcase. He didn't know Mr Writer's full name and it would be pretty tragic if he went searching through my bookshelf.

Of course he soon discovered his name when he asked me to show him Mr Writer's Facebook page. I suppose I could have said no but I was worried that it might look as if I had something to hide. Mr Offshore hated Facebook, I'd tried to explain the merits of social networking for a single mum stuck in most nights in a city she was new to but he wasn't buying any of it. When he saw that I had a friend request from a guy whose name happened to be the same as someone he knew he asked me to click on the profile. It turned out it wasn't someone he knew and it only added fuel to his fire. Why was this guy asking to be my friend, had I gone out with him, did I know him, which I didn't. Perhaps I should have lied and said he was an old school friend or a distant relation but all I ever tried to do with Mr Offshore was be honest right from the start.

You see, and I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour by any means, there have been two relationships that he's been in where his partner has cheated. The first was his wife, they'd been together 10 years when she went off with someone at a party and the second was a previous ex girlfriend to me who had flitted between him and her ex boyfriend. So I could appreciate his initial caution surrounding my friendships with my exes, however there's only so much a girl can take. After all, I had done nothing to raise suspicion. I'd been completely honest with him, I hadn't got pregnant by an ex and then claimed that I didn't know whether it was his baby or my ex boyfriend's. She'd done this, an ex girlfriend before me and he'd gone along to the clinic with her while she had the abortion knowing that the baby wasn't his. So, why was I being punished, why couldn't he trust me?

The final straw was on a Saturday night when after a few drinks he started going on about how I put Mr Writer first, or that's how it felt to him. Being a parent himself he should have known that if anyone was number one in my life it was Evie. So, in a way he was right, he was second in line but really, I was getting tired of this. It was a free Saturday night out where I'd managed to get Evie to spend the night round at a friend's so we could go out, listen to my colleague's band and have some quality time together, why was he spoiling it? That's when I realised, no matter where we were, what we were doing his jealousy was always going to spoil it. I'd said to him a month previous that the only man who was going to split us up was him. This couldn't continue as work in progress and the next day I told him that I was going to ask for my job back and stay in Edinburgh. Oh yes, I didn't mention the moving in with him bit, did I?

2 comments:

Kate said...

He sounds very jealous and frankly who needs that hassle. I hope you have a far better man arriving to sweep you off your feet and be a great step father to Evie.

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Kate said...

I agree with SecreatOfficeConfessions Kate - Mr Offshore does sound jealous but also really insecure. Moving in with him will be make or break don't you think?

Good luck and I hope everything works out. x

Kate x
http://search-for-the-perfect10.blogspot.com

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Bird on a Wire
Imagine Carrie from Sex and the City morphed with Bridget Jones and a baby thrown in for added entertainment – that’s me, the ever optimistic romantic looking for my Mr Big but already with child! Read my blog from the beginning where I find out I am pregnant following a brief fling with my much older male colleague and fast forward to where I am now, stressed out working mum to my beautiful 10 year old daughter wondering if love really does in fact exist at first sight.
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