Saturday 24 February 2001
I am continuing my pregnancy against Daniel's wishes and have given him the opportunity to walk away from it all but he hasn't. I will now have to tell work on Monday, that'll be interesting. I feel much better now that I have made a decision.

When I had my appointment at the Gynaecology department last week they took a scan to see how "far gone" I was. While carrying out the ultrasound (god that jelly's cold!) the nurse asked if I'd like to see the imagine. I don't know why but I said yes. I wasn't quite sure what I would see, I mean, would it just be like a bubble or number of bubbles, it's only cells after all? What I hadn't anticipated on seeing was a tiny little heartbeat. For what seemed like an eternity I was glued to that screen watching this little flicker on the screen, I felt as though I could almost hear the heartbeat through the image. I suddenly realised that although my baby resembled a cashew nut on screen there was no denying that I had a little life growing inside me and it was at that point my decision was made.
Thursday 8 February 2001
God, I feel so sick, whichever Dr classed it as "morning sickness" should be done under the trades description act, this sickness lasts all day. I think I've managed to convince them at work that I had a bout of food poisoning but how long can that go on for? I can't even watch adverts with food in them without feeling the desire to heave.

Quite a lot has happened since I last wrote. I now have an appointment with the Sister up at the Gynaecology department about a termination. Last week I was so sure it was what I wanted as I had started to feel so ill and off my food but recently I've been feeling quite maternal, almost aware of the fact that something is growing inside of me. I thought I was so sure of my decision....

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Bird on a Wire
Imagine Carrie from Sex and the City morphed with Bridget Jones and a baby thrown in for added entertainment – that’s me, the ever optimistic romantic looking for my Mr Big but already with child! Read my blog from the beginning where I find out I am pregnant following a brief fling with my much older male colleague and fast forward to where I am now, stressed out working mum to my beautiful 10 year old daughter wondering if love really does in fact exist at first sight.
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