Friday, 9 April 2010
When I thought there was a possibility that I may be pregnant I started to put some measures in place. I started by stuffing my face.

As you will know if you have read my earliest posts I suffered from terrible morning sickness within a week or so of finding out I was pregnant. It wasn’t so much throwing up all the time but more the feeling like I was going to be sick. I can only compare it to how I used to feel as a child when I was suffering from travel sickness. That constant dizzy, nauseous feeling. I lost a lot of weight within the first few weeks of my pregnancy with Evie because I just couldn’t eat, I suspect that my colleagues at the time knew something was up.

If I ate loads now, then any weight loss wouldn't be so noticeable. That was my theory anyway.

I also recalled the debilitating tiredness that I’d suffered, to the point where I struggled to even lift the eye shadow brush to my face, let alone sweep it across my drooping eyelids all those years ago. So I tamed down my make up. I wore a little mineral foundation and mascara. I didn’t even do my eyebrows (I have a thing about my eyebrows, ever since Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks entered my life back in 1990). There would be no struggling with my crayon face this time, I was easing my colleagues in with the au naturel look.

I sorted out my office desk drawer. I generally throw everything in there at the end of the working day but I figured that if I was going to be off with the morning sickness than I should at least make sure everything was in order because no doubt someone would go in there looking for something. I sorted, I filed, I shredded confidentially and I labelled. I couldn’t quite remember my desk looking so efficiently tidy.

I stocked up the freezer. I needed to have supplies in to ensure that I was able to at least cook food for Evie even if I didn’t feel like eating. The last thing I’d feel like doing would be traipsing around the supermarket with green gills.

I started to read up on early symptoms and was introduced to a whole new scary world on the internet. I’d never had this privilege with Evie, I don’t even think Broadband existed then! But suddenly here were pages and pages of women desperate to discuss every single aspect of trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, having babies, not having babies. And everything was initialled. What the hell did “AF” or “CM” mean and how on earth was I supposed to be able to tell whether my cervix felt like the tip of my nose?? I learnt things about my reproductive system that I never knew before. I made a pact to myself that if I did find out I was pregnant I wouldn’t visit that cyber world again and as it happened, I didn’t have to.

Realising I wasn’t pregnant, I suddenly started to panic about the over eating, the important documents that I may have “accidentally” destroyed during my sudden office drawer spring clean and the ridiculous price I’d paid for that “we can tell if you’re pregnant 4 days early” pregnancy test. Well, at least I'd prepared for every eventuality, even if I didn't really need to. Then my phone bleeped, a message from my Mother, "I've just read your blog...." Then again, maybe not.


Rapunzel said...

You are soooo organised! I'm surprised you stopped there and didn't start decorating the nursery!

You should write this up as a guide for newly pregnant women who want to hide the fact they are. Put in a bit about hiding the fact you aren't drinking on social occasions and I think you'll have covered everything! (No-one has to know that the test was negative..!)

Rapunzel x

Bird on a Wire said...

Good thinking Rapunzel!

Hmm, will have to think on the no drinking on social occasions as that would be very obvious in my case!!

Bird x


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Bird on a Wire
Imagine Carrie from Sex and the City morphed with Bridget Jones and a baby thrown in for added entertainment – that’s me, the ever optimistic romantic looking for my Mr Big but already with child! Read my blog from the beginning where I find out I am pregnant following a brief fling with my much older male colleague and fast forward to where I am now, stressed out working mum to my beautiful 10 year old daughter wondering if love really does in fact exist at first sight.
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