Monday, 18 June 2001
It's my birthday today and I actually had a really nice time. I'm back home living with Mum now and it's actually going ok, we seem to be getting on fine surprisingly. Daniel got me Jean-Paul Gaultier perfume, flowers and bizarrely Legend by Bob Marley on CD. I am curious as to his reasoning behind this choice as he has never heard me make any reference to reggae music or an undying love of Rastafarians. Don't get me wrong, back in the good old days before I was growing a little life inside me, I went through a phase of listening to Marley, that album in particular but it was usually accompanied by a special cigarette. Won't be having any more of those! In fact even cutting out alcohol hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, your priorities change - don't they?

Take last Saturday for example. I decided to go out for a change, well, these days my friends aren't so keen to come and spend a Saturday night in with me. It was a whole new experience, going to a club without my beer goggles on. In fact it was quite worrying watching some of the girls initially looking all glam but slowly deteriorating into women who could barely keep their eyelids open, let alone stand. Moving from one bloke to another. Had I been like that? God, were people looking at me thinking "it's not surprising she's pregnant and on her own, remember the states she used to get into?" I'd sat at home feeling like I was missing out while my friends were heading out every weekend when in actual fact I wasn't missing anything. Was this what I used to think was a good weekend?

To add insult to injury I ended up bumping into Daniel, his face dropped when he saw me and he looked absolutely gutted. I felt like a complete embarrassment to him, he assured me that he was pleased to see me but his eyes said something else.



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Bird on a Wire
Imagine Carrie from Sex and the City morphed with Bridget Jones and a baby thrown in for added entertainment – that’s me, the ever optimistic romantic looking for my Mr Big but already with child! Read my blog from the beginning where I find out I am pregnant following a brief fling with my much older male colleague and fast forward to where I am now, stressed out working mum to my beautiful 10 year old daughter wondering if love really does in fact exist at first sight.
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